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Post by Daos on Jun 8, 2007 16:09:22 GMT -8
Yes, although it's mostly because Arkos is simply unfamiliar with sorcery and the supernatural. The truth is, Kappa could avoid scaring him like that, but he does it on purpose. He's like teasing the 'very young.'
I'll see if I can clarify that then. Thanks.
I guess I felt it was a little redundant to have him mention his god's name in every prayer he made.
Good advice. I'll work that in, thanks.
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Post by Daos on Jun 16, 2007 19:13:04 GMT -8
Chapter Four
"Arkos...Arkos..," the voice called to him.
Lazily, Arkos slowly blinked his eyes open and yawned. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up in bed, glancing at his surroundings. He was back in the orphanage, in the boy's room. Standing over him was the orphanage caretaker, Michelle Whitestar. She smiled at him. "Were you napping again?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. "You are so active all day long, it's no wonder you fall asleep in the middle of the day."
Young Arkos, only ten years old, slipped out of bed and pulled his shoes back on. "I didn't mean to," he mumbled, still only half-awake.
"Well, I need your help. Some new orphans arrive today, and I need to go prepare for them. Do you think you can help me out in the kitchen?" she requested. "I wanted to have something for them to eat when they get here."
"All right," Arkos said with another yawn. He stretched a few moments, and then followed the woman to the kitchen. After about an hour of helping her chop up beets--although Arkos' pieces were rather uneven--he was freed from his kitchen duty and meandered over to the common area. The new orphans had arrived, and they were being greeted by the others. Arkos had been a resident of the orphanage for as long as he could remember, and so was often seen as the 'elder child' of the group. But he generally did not have an interest in newcomers; he tended to keep to himself.
Arkos leaned up against the back wall and observed. He casually examined the new orphans, who were all disheveled and in various states of impoverishment. Most of them wore ragged, filthy brown clothes that long ago lost any color they once had to them. Many did not have shoes or even shirts. But a flash of pink caught Arkos' attention from the crowd. Strangely compelled, he started searching for it, as it had quickly vanished a moment later. He had almost decided to give up when he saw it again. A young girl had made her way to the ascending staircase and had squatted down beside it, as if attempting to hide in the shadows.
She wasn't much younger than Arkos, only around eight years old or so. The girl was terribly skinny, clearly suffering from malnourishment. Dirt smudged her face and skin, and the dress she wore more closely resembled a burlap sack more than any kind of real clothing. But a pink ribbon, somehow still clean, was tied up in her brown hair. When Arkos approached, her head quickly shot up and she stared at him with big, hazel eyes. It reminded Arkos of a squirrel or mouse who had suddenly sensed a cat sneaking up on it.
"Hello," Arkos greeted her, holding his hand out to her. The girl visibly flinched, as if expecting him to attack her. Arkos quickly retracted his hand and frowned. "I'm Arkos," he told her. She stared up at him blankly, but did not answer. Feeling awkward, Arkos continued to speak anyway. "Just Arkos. I don't have a last name, 'cause I'm an orphan, too. I guess I could make one up, but I never really thought about it." He scratched the back of his neck, feeling a little silly at babbling on like that. But something about her silence made him want to fill it in any manner he could.
"That one don't talk," said another orphan, a little boy named Kel. Arkos turned around to face him, not having heard his approach. "'S true," he said.
"Why not?" Arkos asked.
Kel shrugged. "She just don't. Not even Miss Whitestar could get 'er to talk. Must be dumb or something." He then walked off, smelling the food in the kitchen.
Arkos frowned again, and walked up to her. He squatted down right next to her, so they were at eye level. She never took her eyes off of him, wide with fear. Arkos peered at her intently, as if trying to see right into her mind. "Nah..," he said. "I don't think you're dumb. You can talk, I bet. You just don't want to. Or maybe you're scared to."
The girl slid down into a sitting position and hugged at her legs. For the first time since he had approached her, she took her eyes off of him and instead looked forward, out into space.
"You don't have to be scared, though. It's nice here. Better than the streets. Michelle takes care of us. And...well, if you need anything, you can just find me. I'll help you out. Sure you don't wanna tell me your name?"
The girl turned her eyes back toward him. They seemed expressionless.
Arkos shrugged. "Okay. Maybe some other time then." He stood up, straightened his shirt, and began to walk away.
"Trini..," she whispered.
Arkos paused in mid-step. It had been so soft, he had wondered briefly if he had just imagined it. He turned back to her. "Huh?"
"Tr...Trini. My name is Trini," she said.
"Trini. That's a nice name," he said with a smile.
Slowly, the girl smiled back.
* * * * *
Arkos groaned. He opened his eyes for what seemed like the second time. Had he just been dreaming...or was he now dreaming again? This time he found himself lying on some blankets on the floor of the sprite sanctuary, in one of the smaller rooms. His armor, sword, and shirt had been removed and set nearby. He sat up, his body feeling stiff and and sore. Now he remembered...the hippogriff. He had fallen and crashed. Somehow, he didn't seem surprised to still be alive after that.
"Not so fast," Daeval said. "You are still weak." The priest had noticed him waken and then approached, kneeling down by him. "You nearly died in that fall, but by the grace of Azedeth, we were able to save you."
Arkos lied back down with a moan. "You healed me?"
Daeval nodded. "I did what I could. But despite that, you have been unconscious for two days now. How do you feel?"
"Like I was dropped by a hippogriff at forty feet...wait, two days?!" He sat up again abruptly, ignoring his muscles' protests.
"I had to also heal some of the soldiers we rescued, but I focused most of my energies on you, since you were the most critical."
"Hoppin' Hobgoblins," Arkos muttered, scratching at his chin. He realized he had grown a bit of stubble recently. "So everyone else is okay then?"
"They are. Although they are becoming restless, I believe. One in particular."
"Thanks. For healing me and all," Arkos said. "And the bugbears?"
Daeval shook his head. "Think nothing of it. As for the bugbears, they have searched the forests thoroughly, but Kappa's magic hides the sanctuary."
Arkos managed to get up to his feet and slowly stand up. Daeval protested, but Arkos was adamant. "I'll be fine," he said.
The elf sighed in defeat. "Very well. But take it easy. You should not take such risks as you did."
"I guess I got a guardian angel or something," Arkos replied, as he attempted to work a kink out of his neck.
The elf paused and then his eyes turned to Arkos' left arm. "If you do not mind me asking...I was curious about the ribbon."
"Hmm?" Arkos glanced down to his left arm to see the pink ribbon tied around it. Without really thinking about it, his right hand moved up to touch it of its own accord. "It's...a friend's. She tied it there before I left for the war...to remind me to come back alive," he explained.
Daeval paused a moment in thought. Then he reached into one of the pockets of his robes and pulled out what appeared to be a barrette carved from wood. The design and workmanship were exquisite. "My wife's," he said simply.
Arkos merely nodded in understanding and grabbed his shirt. After putting it back on, he started re-equipping his gear.
* * * * *
When Arkos and Daeval returned to the common room, they found Kappa and one of the soldiers arguing with each other. The other soldiers were staying out of it, but clearly watching the exchange with interest.
"I don't care what you say! Our orders are clear, as is the chain of command!" shouted the soldier. His face was flushed with anger.
"Your rules and regulations are meaningless here! What you're talking about is suicide!"
"What's going on?" Arkos interrupted.
"Oh, it's you. The one who saved us." The soldier approached Arkos, calming down considerably. "I am Corporal Ralather Lockgild of the Sky Citadel Infantry Squad." The man appeared to be around thirty or so with military-style brown hair, a neatly trimmed mustache, and grey eyes. He was about an inch taller than Arkos and had a nasty looking scar across his lip and a piece of his left ear was missing. He was wearing plate mail and had a bastard sword on his belt. An open-face helm with multiple small dents was tucked under his arm.
"Corporal?" Arkos quickly snapped a salute, realizing he was in the presence of an officer. "Private Arkos Soulstaff of the Starlight Infantry Squad, sir!"
Ralather returned the salute. "Good man. We owe you a debt of gratitude for your rescue, and I'll be sure to pass the word along to the King when we return."
"Thank you, sir...but I wasn't alone. Daeval and Kappa helped, too."
"Ah. The elf and the sprite." Ralather looked back down at Kappa with an expression of disdain.
"You're welcome," Kappa responded sarcastically with an over-elaborate bow.
The corporal ignored the sprite and instead turned back to Arkos. "I'm glad you're up and well again. Now we can make plans to return to Gontoria."
Kappa sighed in frustration. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. You'll never make it! There aren't enough supplies left here to get all of you there! Especially with all the bugbears in the area."
Ralather placed his hands behind his back. "Our orders are clear. In the event we are captured and escape, we are to report to the nearest base for reassignment."
"If we don't have enough supplies to make it back home, then staying here isn't really an option, either. We'll starve," Arkos pointed out. "Maybe we could get more supplies from somewhere else?"
"Surely you do not mean to return to the bugbear stronghold?" asked Daeval.
"No...even if we could make it back there alive, Kappa torched most of their supplies," Arkos replied.
"There may be another way," Ralather offered. "Before we were captured, I had heard of some intelligence of a village in this area. If we could raid it for supplies, we should be able to return home."
Daeval frowned. "I know of the village you speak of. Kappa and I were there recently. But is it right to take what is not ours from others?"
"They are the enemy. Of course it's right. They would do no different to us," Ralather said. "But we cannot all go. A small group would be better, so we can move more quickly. The rest should stay here and await our return. Private Soulstaff, I would like you to accompany me."
"Me?" Arkos asked, surprised.
"Arkos needs more time to recover," Daeval objected. "He is not ready yet."
"Nonsense," Ralather objected. "He looks fine to me. And I could use someone with his moxie."
"I'll go," Arkos said with a salute.
"Arkos, are you sure?" Daeval's normally friendly face was carved with concern.
"I know, but I'll be fine. We need those supplies if we're going to get these people to safety. And I must obey orders from a superior."
"Superior? Ha!" Kappa said, slapping his knee.
"Then I shall go, as well," Daeval offered before Ralather could make a come-back.
"What?!" Kappa cried, his mouth dropping open. "Daeval, this isn't our war. It's bad enough we assaulted a stronghold, but now you're going to help them attack a village? These are civilians we're talking about, not soldiers. We've done our part; more than enough, in fact."
The elf shrugged. "I feel I will be needed. Azedeth's will is not yet clear to me, but I know my part in this is not yet over."
"Wait, Daeval. Kappa's right. This isn't your fight. I appreciate all you've done for me. But I can't let you risk your life further." Arkos objected. "Besides, you aren't a soldier. You are not under any obligation."
"And what of your promise?" Daeval asked him, his green eyes moving to Arkos' left arm.
Although the ribbon was concealed under both his shirt and mail, Arkos' hand instinctively went to where the ribbon had been tied. "What about it?"
"You promised to return home alive. And I intend to make sure you follow through on this." He smiled. "After all, you are my friend."
Arkos bit at his lip, but he could think of nothing further to say. He lowered his head. "Thanks."
Kappa groaned. "The gods mock me," he complained. "Well, I made a promise, too. I swore to Nylirr that you wouldn't get yourself killed, either. So I guess I have to go, as well." He crossed his arms in annoyance. "Damned war. I knew it would bring me nothing but trouble to get involved."
Arkos got down to one knee to be more on the sprite's eye level. "Thank you, as well, friend."
Kappa snorted and waved his hand dismissively to the young soldier. "Yeah, yeah."
With a nod and a smile, Arkos stood back up and faced Ralather. "Looks like it's us four, sir."
Ralather stroked his chin in thought. "Very well. As long as the sprite can keep his mouth quiet while we are sneaking in."
A soft buzzing noise emitted from under Kappa's cloak as he glared daggers at the officer. It took Arkos a moment to realize that the transparent, dragonfly like wings tucked under the sprite's cloak were rapidly flapping in anger, sounding like a very large mosquito. Ralather did not seem to pay it any mind.
"Here is my plan..," Ralather began.
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Post by Daos on Aug 13, 2007 21:21:32 GMT -8
Chapter Five
Night had fallen. The twin moons, Pyr and Ruse, were both only half-full. Their intermingling light of red and blue became a dark, muted purple that covered the land. The elf, sprite, and two humans stood on a cliff, overlooking the sleepy village they intended to raid. Arkos felt another pang of conscience at the thought, as he stared down at the collection of soft lights in the valley. It seemed so peaceful and unprepared. A wall did surround it, and it was guarded, but even from his vantage point, Arkos could see it wasn't guarded very well.
The village was small, maybe large enough to hold fifty people at best. This further weighed on Arkos' conscience, as such a small village could not have considerable stockpiles of supplies. He imagined it was quite the struggle to survive at all in this frozen land. And once they took those supplies, there was no guarantee the villagers would make it through the winter.
Evidently, Kappa had reached the same conclusion, because Arkos realized he was arguing with Ralather in harsh whispers.
"You're going to kill all those people with this plan," the sprite hissed. "They look like they need all the supplies they can get!"
"Nonsense. And even if that were so, they are the enemy," Ralather reminded him. "Decreasing their numbers, by any means, only works to our advantage in the long run."
"The enemy? They're simple villagers, not soldiers!"
"This is not up for discussion," Ralather said firmly. "If you object, you can find some other way to get us supplies. But I did not hear any better ideas at the meeting."
Kappa said nothing, but instead glared at Ralather and buzzed his wings angrily.
Daeval, however, was not looking at the village nor watching the argument. Instead, his eyes were on Arkos. It was clear to him that the boy was troubled. The way he glanced at the village, the way he clenched his fists. He was not eager for battle--on the contrary, he wanted to avoid it. The elf reached out and placed his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You do not have to do this," he said softly. "We could find another way."
Arkos glanced over his shoulder to Daeval and grimaced, as if this knowledge was more of a burden to him than anything else. He looked back at the village and remembered his promise to Trini. He had to come back alive. And the only way to do that was to get supplies, or so Ralather believed. Even if he could come up with another way, Ralather would not be swayed. He steeled himself for the unpleasant task ahead and shook his head. "I have to do this. I must obey orders. Ralather is still my commander." He sighed and turned to face the cleric. "But you and Kappa are not soldiers. You can come and go as you like."
Daeval smiled grimly but shook his head. "We will not abandon a friend."
"Enough talk," Ralather said, tugging at his mustache irritably, as he realized it needed trimming again. "Let's move out."
* * * * *
Kappa had agreed, reluctantly, to scout the place out with his innate invisibility. When he returned to the others, he reported that the manpower of the village's guards was spread pretty thin, especially on the south wall. Ralather decided that was the best place to enter.
"I wonder why there are so few guards?" asked Arkos quietly as they moved toward the south wall. "I know it's small, but..."
"The war," Kappa replied. "Most of the young, strong men were probably recruited here, just like on Gontoria's side. Not many left to defend the villages, especially one that isn't strategically important."
They again lapsed into silence as the south gate came into view. As Kappa had claimed, there were only two guards standing at the closed gate. Both were wearing chain mail and very heavy cloaks. They shivered and rubbed various limbs vigorously, attempting to stay warm. Now and again they would engage in quiet conversation. The two were completely oblivious to the party's presence, as they were well-hidden in the darkness. Kappa and Daeval, however, could see as clearly as they could in daylight.
"Send in the elf," Ralather said. "Claim you are a traveler, looking for a place to stay the night. The garbs of Azedeth may give them pause--long enough for us to get the jump on them."
"Whoa, hold on a second," Kappa argued. "You're using Daeval as bait? What if the guards attack him right out? People tend to kill first and ask questions later in a war."
"Do not fear, old friend," Daeval said. "I do not mind. But you may come with me, hidden from their eyes, as backup if I should need it."
This seemed to satisfy the sprite, as he nodded sternly and then vanished from sight. Taking a breath to ready himself, Daeval began walking toward the gate, his mace tied to his belt. The guards spotted him coming and tensed, drawing their swords. Daeval made no hostile moves, but instead approached as if he had nothing to fear at all.
Ralather gave Arkos a silent hand gesture, telling him to take the one on the right. The two soldiers then split up, circling around to come up on the guards' flank. So engrossed with the elf, they did not see them. And the wind howled just loud enough this night to keep them from being heard. The two guards were speaking to Daeval softly as Arkos came up behind the right one. They had lowered their guard a bit, but still kept their weapons drawn.
Ralather struck first, throwing his arm around the left guard's neck and then slipping the blade of his sword into the guard's back. She gave a distinctively feminine groan as her sword slid from her numb fingers and she dropped to the ground, dead. The right guard, also a young woman, cried out and then whirled just in time to face Arkos.
Arkos was paralyzed. He stared at the girl dully, his sword drawn but down at his side. He had fought and killed a number of bugbears, dwarves, and even men like himself on the battlefield. But never a woman. He had always been taught to protect women, to keep them away from harm. How could he kill one, even if he was ordered to? Staring into her eyes, he saw fear but determination. She seemed unsure of why he hesitated, but then resolved herself and moved forward to strike. Arkos dimly was aware he had to bring up his shield, but it proved for naught. Ralather had retrieved his sword from the first guard's body and moved in to cut down the second one.
The woman fell without a cry, face-first into the snow. She looked up at Arkos, her eyes full of tears of pain. Instinctively, the boy reached out to her, to help her; to comfort her. But Ralather finished her off by plunging his sword in her neck, ending her life quickly. The woman's eyes dulled and went completely blank, the last thing she gazed having been the stunned and pale soldier before her.
"What happened?" asked Ralather. "You hesitated. You could have been killed had she not done so, as well." He wiped the blood from his sword.
Arkos could not answer. He felt as if he had fallen from his body and into a dark pit, unable to move or even call out for help. Some part of his mind was demanding this was all a trick; a dream or illusion, and could not possibly be real. The woman's eyes continued to stare at him, unseeing, yet somehow judging. They were brown, like Trini's, and for a moment he saw himself standing over her own corpse. His legs weakened and he felt his head get lighter. Suddenly, Daeval was there to steady him, his lithe elven hands somehow firmly keeping him on his feet.
"Damn it, boy," Ralather swore. "You told me you had fought on the field before. This is no time to fall apart." He searched both bodies for a key, and then proceeded to unlock the gate to let them in. "Pull yourself together, or you won't survive this. We're going in."
Arkos gave a shuddering sigh and mentally commanded his stomach contents to stay where they were. "Yes, sir." He nodded to Daeval, who let him go, and he stood up on his own. Trying to force his emotions to the back of his mind, he numbly walked to the gate with Ralather.
Daeval and Kappa exchanged looks, but accompanied the two humans. Ralather unlocked the gate, nodded to the others to get ready, and then kicked it open. He glanced around, saw nobody in the immediate area, and gestured for them to follow him quickly. Once inside, they quickly took cover behind an old shed that was near the gate. Since it was night and the town guard was sparse, there were few people in the streets.
"What now?" asked Kappa in a whisper. "Should I scout around?"
"No time," Ralather responded. "The longer we're here, the more likely they'll find us. Our best bet is to head north, near the center of the village."
Arkos didn't really listen to their conversation any further than that. His thoughts kept turning back to the guards. Had they been mothers? If their husbands died in the war, as well, would their children become orphans, like him? He felt as cold on the inside as he did on the outside, as if all the blood had been drained from his body. Only when he saw a bit of pink out of the corner of his eye did he return his attention to the world around him. Turning his head, he saw a young girl, about twelve or so, carrying a basket and wearing a dull, pink cloak to stay warm. She had apparently been walking that way, spotted the party, and froze.
Arkos tried to say something, but his voice had left him. The girl, however, shrieked something in Cryzzian and dropped her basket. Ralather whirled around, drawing his sword. In a brief moment of panic, Arkos realized the commander would not hesitate to kill the girl. He grabbed Ralather's wrist. "Th-there's no time! We must hurry!" he stammered out, that being the best excuse he could think of to spare the girl without disobeying Ralather's authority.
Ralather seemed torn by this, but his mind was made up for him when Daeval and Kappa, following Arkos' lead, ran for it. Keeping his blade at the ready, Ralather turned and followed them. Arkos cast a glance back to the frightened girl before running after them, a look of relief about him.
They heard more shouting, again in Cryzzian, ahead of them. With no choice, they had to alter their course and run out into the open. Two guards, again female, were waiting for them, their swords drawn. A third came behind them, trapping them. "We'll have to fight our way through!" Ralather shouted, causing Arkos to flinch.
As he was in the back, Arkos drew his sword and turned to face the guard behind them. "Please," he said. "I do not wish to fight you." But if the woman understood Gontorian, she did not respond. Instead, she charged at him, recklessly. It was clear these women were not fully trained, but probably just took up their husbands' and brothers' armor to defend the village while they were gone. Arkos easily sidestepped her attack. She left herself wide open, but Arkos let the window pass by. Annoyed by what she perceived to be an enemy taunting her, she charged once more. This time, Arkos sidestepped and struck the flat of his blade hard against her helmet. The blow caused her to stumble, and then fall into the snow. Arkos quickly checked her, and found she was not dead, only knocked out. "Forgive me," he muttered as he stood up. A quick glance around showed him that the other two women had fallen, most likely dead. Daeval stepped up to him, concerned. He looked down at the girl, and as if realizing what Arkos had done, silently nodded his approval.
"Good work," Ralather said, seeing Arkos' opponent. He used one of the guards' cloaks to wipe his blade clean of blood. "Now we must hurry before more show up..."
"Not so fast!" came a heavily accented female voice. Another woman stepped out from behind an ally, wearing a brown fur cloak. She wore no armor, but carried a quarterstaff in her hand. "Filthy Gontorians," she said, "you will not get away with this!" Her eyes, blue as Pyr, were burning with a rage that even gave Ralather pause. Although the woman looked like an easy challenge alone, there was something about her that suggested she was more than what she appeared. She carried an aura of power and authority with her, and a great deal of confidence.
"Leave her to me," Kappa said, and he began chanting the words of a magic spell. However, to their surprise, the woman began to do the same. Suddenly, Kappa's voice died out. His mouth continued to move, but no sound came out of it. His spell fizzled as a result, and he glanced around, confused.
Before this unexpected development could sink in, the woman raced forward. Twirling her staff in hand, she struck both Daeval and Arkos at once, knocking them back in opposite directions. Passing by them as if they were no more than a minor obstacle, she went straight at Ralather. Having had more time to prepare, Ralather met her flurry of blows with his sword and shield, keeping her at bay. Arkos sat up in the snow and watched, stunned, thoroughly impressed by the woman's speed and valor.
Growing frustrated, Ralather attempted to go on the offensive, throwing his weight into a slash forward. Rather than try to block it, the woman performed a backwards flip, landing on her feet gracefully. She then began to chant again, pointed at Ralather, and unleashed three beams of blue energy that slammed into him with such force that he fell backwards. Ralather groaned but remained down. Daeval hurried over to him.
Arkos quickly got to his feet, as well, just as the woman turned toward him. A moment passed as they stared each other down, and Arkos had to admit he admired this woman. He had never known a female that possessed such strength and courage. He took her in with his eyes, now finally having a chance to get a good look at her. She had shoulder-length brown hair, blue eyes, and a smattering of freckles upon her nose. Her figure was fairly lithe, although she had some muscle, and she stood almost half a foot shorter than Arkos.
"You're next," she spat, her eyes locked onto his, as if probing for a weakness.
Arkos lowered his sword. "It doesn't have to be this way," he said without blinking.
This comment seemed to enrage the woman further. She pointed at him and began the same incantation that took out Ralather. Arkos tensed, but knew he could not reach her in time to stop her. He held up his shield to protect himself in vain. But just before she finished, Kappa appeared out of nowhere and latched onto her leg. The silence spell that enveloped him spread to her, blocking her voice. Arkos did not hesitate. By the time she realized what had happened, Kappa let go of her leg and Arkos tackled her to the ground.
He quickly grabbed hold of her wrists to keep her from moving. The extra weight of his armor helped keep her pinned down. The woman struggled furiously, looking up at Arkos with unending hate. But suddenly, her expression changed and she smiled. Wriggling a bit helplessly, she said in a husky voice, "Will you take me now?"
His face going crimson, Arkos quickly let go of her, which is just what she had been waiting for. Immediately her fist shot up, striking him in the chin. Arkos fell off of her, his nose bleeding. She leapt to her feet, grabbed her staff, and was about to bring it down on his unprotected head when someone shouted in the distance. "Ashkevron! Velikan!"
The woman froze in mid-swing and whirled to face the speaker. It was one of the town guards, running toward her. The two met and began speaking hastily in Cryzzian, apparently having forgotten the Gontorians. Daeval made his way to Arkos and helped him to his feet.
"What's happening?" Arkos asked, dazed.
"Velikan...the Cryzzian word for 'giant'," the elf explained, examining his bloody nose.
Apparently Ashkevron had overheard them, for she then turned back to them, angry. "That's right. Frost Giants. Three of them, and they are heading this way. And because you Gontorian scum killed almost half of the town guard, we are helpless. We could barely face them at full strength!"
"Why would Frost Giants come here?" asked Arkos.
"Why else? To raid for supplies," Ashkevron answered.
"Guess they had the same idea," Kappa muttered. He then gasped and rubbed his neck gently, as he realized his voice had returned.
"Ralather?" Arkos asked Daeval after he had healed his nose.
"Out cold. I tried to heal him, but the damage is too severe."
"And that means," Kappa said, "that you're in charge kid. What'll it be? We could probably get what we need while the giants distract them. We're the least of their worries now," he added in a low voice.
Arkos looked to his two companions in confusion. They were looking to him for leadership now? He glanced down at Ralather's unconscious form. He knew what he would want done; what Ralather would expect Arkos to do in his absence.
He looked over to the woman, Ashkevron, and the guard. They had apparently just finished whatever plan they had cooked up and were about to depart, leaving the Gontorians on their own. "Wait!" he called after her. Ashkevron readied her staff, anticipating an attack, as she turned to face him.
"No time for you. Consider this your lucky day."
"Hold on," he said. He gestured to himself and the others. "Let us help you..."
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Post by HorizonsDream on Aug 15, 2007 17:55:20 GMT -8
I've decided I don't like Ralather. He is a complete bastard. I'm not sure if you were going for that or not though.
As for the actual story, it was okay. Yes, just okay. It wasn't that I had any problems with it. It gave some insight on Arkos at least with the way he views women, and it introduced a new character. The fighting scene was good for the most part. I'm not sure if I like the new character or not, considering I wasn't sure I liked her back when you were writing your old story. I guess we will see with the upcoming stories.
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Post by Daos on Aug 15, 2007 18:18:50 GMT -8
He's not a bastard, really. Just very LN. Arkos is LG, and I wanted him to learn that blindly following orders is not a good thing. Ralather sees things in a very black-and-white manner (We are at war with Cryzza. Therefore, all Cryzzians are evil), whereas Arkos is struggling with doing what he feels is right and doing what he's told is right.
Anyway I can improve it then?
There were a couple of fights. I assume you're referring specifically to the Ashkevron battle. I had a blast writing that. I missed her.
You remember her well, then? You might also remember that what made her so fun was the way she interacted with Arkos. I love sticking those two together and seeing how things turn out.
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Post by HorizonsDream on Aug 15, 2007 19:53:15 GMT -8
He still seems like a bastard to me, and I don't think there is anything that is going to change that opinion.
As for how to make it better than okay, I'm not sure what you can do. I think I didn't like it as much due to the fact it was from Arkos' point of view. I mean, this could have been a good part to make Kappa shine for example because it was obvious he was against this.
Yes, I remember her. I remember her being a bit of a known it all, especially towards Arkos. That was why I was never too sure about her.
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